Deepening vs. Avoidance

It is possible to use advanced circling techniques to deepen a conversation and get at the heart of a matter. It is also possible to use circling as a way to keep conversations superficial, skirt the issues, delay progress, maintain the status quo, and avoid resolution of ongoing situations.

Spiraling favors deepening connections by acknowledging the benefit of avoiding pressing for a resolution too quickly. It is also committed to the quickest and most efficient progress toward the highest good of all concerned.

Gently approaching delicate issues to lay a foundation of trust in positive regard and make sure that someone is emotionally receptive to having a conversation is important. Dropping words like bombs just causes defensiveness that prevents resolution.

If, however, circling techniques are used to postpone and avoid resolution of difficult situations indefinitely ad infinitum, it means a spirit of collaboration to make sure everybody’s needs are getting met is missing. Such frustration can be resolved by Spiraling when a circle is placing greater emphasis on the acceptance of what is and a state of not knowing, than a concern for the well-being of all.

Spiraling acknowledges that acceptance of what is sometimes involves acceptance that something must change in order for everyone’s needs to be met.

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